Rockford's Cave

"Hallo, here I am. And today I'll speak about..."

Three dimensions? ...that's science-fiction!

I am a genuine globe-trotter! Yes, I'm young, I'm just 18 but I travelled hundreds of caverns, collected tons of diamonds, fighted all sort of nasty creatures, and worked so hard so many years long... But I feel a little bit lonely sometimes. Long ago I used to live inside a brown single-room house labeled Commodore 64, then I moved to a comfortable coin-op cabinet and had lots of friends as neighbours. At first I received many guys at home: they placed a coin in the cabinet, and we spent some time happily and had fun together... But now things have changed, and I think someone's trying to fool me. I don't understand such thing they all speak about, which they're trying to make me believe. They avoid me and say they found better things to do than playing with me... they say I'm not innovating and there are funnier things than staying in front of my house. Do you also want to make me believe there's something outside of my cave?!? Please don't try to fool me! Do we need anything else than fresh diamonds every day? Richness, a bit of adventure, physical training and that's it - here's me: a perfect model of happiness and health!

I can't stand that: they also say I "just" have two dimensions... so what? No one ever complaint about such things, and we all know that: everything is bidimensional! The world is flat, diamonds have five sides, rocks are round and walls are square: what the hell should we do with another dimension? ...and I really can't figure its shape! Please stop saying those science-fiction theories, and the entire world knows that progress is totally unuseful. We live in 2002 and what changed since 1984? There are a lot of people speaking about that girlie Lara Croft: they say she's more charisma than I, she's a true adventurer... but she appears too much conceited to me! And we all know she learnt everything from me! I've been the first one to go around the caves, hunting for diamonds, many years before that girl went out on the scene! What about those people saying: "well at least she's so round, and we love her shapes!"? Oh man, I strongly believe rocks in my cave are much rounder and interesting than that nasty female! ...she does nothing but complain: everytime she hits a wall she cries "a-ah!"... oh I'm so sorry madam, I didn't mean to touch you, so why don't you stay alone and stop bothering us? Well I "just" have two dimensions, but at least I keep on enjoying my life a lot, I don't use to complain at every minute, and I'm always gentle with all of the people coming and playing with me - all holding a shiny coin in their hands eh!

Hey do you remember Harry Pitfall, that other guy who travelled around the Lost Caverns? Wicked guy indeed! I used to meet him here and there hunting for gold artifacts (well, diamonds are much better than gold - believe me heh!) and we often stopped and chatted for hours. He's a little older than I, and we attended the Combat School together in our youths... he's a really modest guy, and all those years of successes didn't make him become conceited. He can't understand the three dimensions thing too... well is it really best for us all? Is it better staying there and squeezing our brains, seeking for a new kind of experience, while we can still enjoy a lot with our good old two dimensions? Actuall very little has changed... everybody still gets inspiration from my adventures! ...and I still keep on waiting for you to come to me and have more good times together!
Three dimensions? Wasn't two the perfect number?

Now I greet you and I say: see you next time on a new adventure!

Yours,
Rockford